hmm finals week.

AHHHHH! FINALS!! AHHHH! lol. so yes. it has finally come down to this. it honestly seems like yesterday that i graduated from hs. what a big boy i have grown up to be :P haha. nothing much has been happening. its become a routine. jst do hw. watch a show. then study. then sleep sooper late. haha. i prob wont be updating until thursday so soorry in advance. i will study my butt off this weekend so that i can party even harder during winter break. haha. yup yup. uhhh other than that.... nothing really much? ive made some pretty close friends here that i have grown to really trust and stuff. God has been really good to me. lol PEACE! STUDY TIME!

its always kinda awkward the first time.

no i do not mean sex. clean that mind of urs. lol. i was gonna post last night but due to my ridiculous essay, i was unable to. sorry. i mean it was an interesting essay about how religion affects environmental ethics and such... but after a couple hours.... it sucks. lol.

so yesterday, for the first time, i did campus evangelism. well it was dining hall ev (short for evangelism). i always told myself that i shuld go but i never got around to it (partly due to my laziness). well we were gnna have a freshmen lunch but it happened to be where the dining hall ev was going on so we all decided to just join in. i got paired up with a sophomore hyung and we basically found a guy sitting alone. we asked if we could sit with him. he was totally open to it. his name is steve. so we jst began talking about stuff. i found out he was a 3rd year transfer from irvine. that did help us connect somewhat so we jst ended up talking about it. like who we knew and how clean irvine was blah blah. my partner tried to bring up church a couple times, but steve kinda ignored the subtle hints we were putting out there. he talked alot about his studies and etc which made me really realize how everyone does have that desire to be loved. when he left, he did drop a really subtle hint that he always ate alone and that he was there all the time. It really must be hard to be a 3rd year transfer, coming into an environment where everyone already has their groups and such. even though we didnt get anything about God out there, his hint really encouraged me to really build a relationship with him. i think i will begin to come out more often. It definitely was a good experience that really put me out in the spot with my faith. i guess... pray that i will be able to be an instrument of God and that people really have open minds and hearts.

In my QT a couple days ago, i read the verse, "So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth" Revelation 3:16. this verse really hit me hard and really spoke to me. me the lukewarm... i know of the Gospel but my whole life i wasnt doing anything about it. i had it all in my hands, but my pride and my arrogance kept me from sharing. I realize that God hates these type of people the most. "to spit you out of my mouth" that small phrase really O_O. felt like it was talking to me directly. sooo.... i pray that by doing campus ev, i will be able to grow.

FINALS ARE COMING!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHHHAATTT AM I GOINNG TO DOOOOO! STUDDDYYYYY!
sigh.

lol. that is all for now. peace.

my apologies

sorry for not posting a legit post in two weeks. midterms and stuff. bleeh. so thanksgiving weekend has ended and i am sitting here.... waiting to go back to school. i really love my bed at home. it shall be missed lots. lol. this break was very relaxing. saw old friends and hung out. felt nice. met some new cousins. lol. iono. lots have happened these past 2 weeks, but i cant remember/ im too lazy to post it all up. sooorrry.

so i was talking with my cousin and i was complimenting him on how he played guitar while praying (he is the kcm praise leader). cuz u know, that seems hard to have ur fingers move indpendently from ur brain and etc. iono its jst hard. haha well he told me that when he prayed, he jst kinda let go and let it flow from the spirit. he also said that if i had to really think about what i was going to say in a prayer, something was wrong. and i guess i see it as, a genuine prayer really jst comes out and its not so much about the words but more about the faith behind the prayer. to be honest, i have been struggling with prayer recently. i get distracted and start thinking about other things, so what my cousin told me really hit me. i really want to have genuine prayer. yup.

in other news, finals is coming up. im nervous. i promise im going to try my best and study the snot out of all my classes. and then after, i will party hard. that is how it will roll. haha.

okok. its time for me to go, so PEACE! i will post more now. okok. wooot.

a message from my mom.

my mom just called me. she told me to read these verses. "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

that last part really got me "and give you peace". i know i may be worrying about my miderm right now, but if i have full faith in God, he will give me peace. I know this doesnt mean i can stop studying and just start praying, but i got it more as that Lord is constantly watching over me and because of that, i need not to worry about these worldly expectations from me, but rather live in pursuit of a faithful life. only then can i receive this peace.

one more day. i got this. woot.

a simple prayer.

dear God, help me to have a passionate love and unwavering faith for you. as the times are getting harder, i feel myself drifting away from you. i know i can not be a man of both faith and the world, so allow me to wholeheartedly make that decision to follow you. in jesus name i pray, Amen.

B HERE!

so today was chill. i guess. im pretty happy with today. finished my programming thing. hung out with kcm ppl. first small group. then B here concert. met youtube stars. quest crew and kaba modern. those ppl are frkn beast. the way they move their body, maaann, its seriously an art. painting with their bodies.

so first small group today. im pretty excited for what is in store for us a group of brothers. as josh lim said, brothers do share a special bond, something that we can not do with the sisters. and so i really look forward to it. what i hope to get out of it.. hmmm... i really want to grow with this group and really keep each other accountable with anything. i want to grow closer with God and more in tune with my faith. i know these next couple years of my life are going to tough so i want to start it off on the right foot. yupp.

i really like my kcm freshmen family. i can always depend on them to make me laugh and have fun. they are a healthy group to be with and im very thankful to God for leading me to such group.

its getting late... sooo lol. i guess i shuld go to sleep. peaceee yalll.

a fattening day.

ahhh sunday. sunday is always a day i look forward to. i am really enjoying church. sermon wasnt too great today... i guess it was a nice change. ate chinese/korean fusion food for lunch. twas a good meal. then went to louise/jas room for korean sausage. then went to kcm chapel. met ppl from church. its really encouraging when i see ppl i recognize in kcm. really motivates me to try hard. then ate guppy house after. soo much shaved ice but soo good. sigh... im going to get fat.

fsf this saturday. im pretty frkn stoked. i love these sports days and competing with other ppl i know. they showed a video today and dangg :D i cant wait. hmm... i really want to make the video next year if possible. currently, its not very great... so i really wanna use my passion to serve the ministry. "you gave me the gift, now i gotta give it back to the best of the best, oh heck yea" - the gift by lyricks and manifest

so kcm chapel was mission report night. basically all the summer mission ppl give like a presentation about their experience from missions. 2 ppl gave testimonies and iono if its me being a pessimist, but whenever i listen to these testimonies, i cant help but think that they are very cliche. the classic "i went wanting to bless them, but instead they blessed me". i definitely should not think in such manner. i caught myself in the process and i think that i have grown prideful about my mission experience, which is not something i should boast about. i realize that even though i dont express pride, i mentally am an extremely prideful and arrogant prick. i am no greater than anyone else. i know i am spiritually immature at this stage of my life and i need to grow. it jst can be very hard at times.

prayer request: living a christian life can be so difficult at times. i often find myself struggling, due to academic stress and pure laziness. i want to live with that passion. pursue God with all my heart, bc right now, i need more than ever.

time travel.

so its daylight savings. haha. going back in time is always fun. sigh. i have been disgustingly lazy today. i did absolutely nothing. i did like half of my lab report. made my sced for next quarter. making sure i have later classes so that i wont miss them. haha. other than that... i woke up really late, played ping pong... literally did nothing... lol

i think i made a good decision sticking with kcm. i dont want to be judgmental, but i was in the cafeteria and overheard the convo of the table next to me (tends to happen when im eating with the tall one). well it was kccc ppl talking about relationships and how to impress ppl etc etc. i know its natural, but seeing the things i had to do to really devote myself to God, issues such as impressing girls and crushes have become unimportant and even distractions. i know its fun to gossip and talk about girls on campus to other doodes, but i definitely dont need that in my life right now. i really like how kcm doesnt really place a big importance on relationships. i really want to grow spiritually and mature as an individual. sigh.... and i really do need help this.

lol. that was a random splurge of what i was thinking about. i guess it jst came up bc i think someone has a crush on me right now. iono if its serious or anything. but lol. i think she does. dont wanna name names or point them out so i will jst hafta go with the flow. watch my behavior bc i dont wanna come off the wrong way. i dont its something i need right now. lol WHEEEEE! COLLEGE!

8game streak in sc2 with the tall one. definitely a bonding moment.

HAH!

today i even woke up early enough to write a post. BOOYAH! lol. i didnt wana miss my first class like the last two days. sigh. i am in need of some habit change. lol. iono. i guess i need more sleep in college? i never needed this much in high school. lol. back when i was young. haha. i slept at like.... 2:30 last night. way too late. i didnt even get hw done. i was watching.... dance videos. haha. they are jst so fun and interesting to watch. ionoo. bleh.

played vb last night. it was really fun. like bonding with ppl thru sports. haha. apparently, i am percieved as pretty normal right now, which is lolsy. i made a weird face at a camera and this one gurl was "OH MY ANDY! I THOUGHT U WERE NORMAL!! IONO ANYMORE" i kinda jst -__- lol

okok. time to get ready for class. peace yall.

latenight for a midterm.

i miss photography. really badly. like uberly badly. i need to bring my camera out on more dates. she deserves more than what i am giving her. lol.

soo i had a talk with my soonjang today. lol. an interesting convo. talked about stuff and it came down to what we want in a girl. haha. we are very similar. to summarize, it was like... pretty (not hot), sorta indie, outgoing, kinda independent etc etc. lol. it was jst a lolsy convo. he is someone i def enjoy talking to. yupyup.

my mom came over and brought me lots and lots of food. even some sushi :P teehee. NOMNOM!

sorry for the lame update, but midterms are more impt right now. lol. peace.

halloween weekend

so weekend. yada and john came over. made me realize how much i really missed them. im happy they came over and now its my turn to go visit them. specially john. i really miss peter. man that guys is mia. haha. well i expected that. sooo weekend was chill with them. watched rush hour. im not a big halloween person. haha. way too many drunk ppl on campus. smells and looks gross. i did go trick or treating tho. i havent been in such a long time. iono. i felt very childish going. asking for candy. i guess it was fun, looking at ppls costumes but i dont its very me to go trick or treating. it was meh.

hmm.. so i went to the dining hall when kcm evo team was there. they are the evangelism team and what they do on mondays is basically go into the dining hall and sit down with ppl who are sitting alone and they jst talk about God. there is one guy who leads it and i really respect him. i decided to come out next week. iono. i feel that i have always been very shy about my faith. culdnt really express it. i wanna live my christian life loud and noisy. i dont wanna be a modest christian. ive been quiet long enough. time to speak out. ive always struggled with it so i think it will def be a good opportunity for me to really establish my faith and spread the gospel.

other than that... nothing much. i miss ppl from h.s alot. we are all going to las vegas once we turn 21. i have already decided. lol

PEACE! its getting late. gnight yall.

Posting from ma iPod. lol

Haha so yes. I jst posted from my iPod.lol it's hard to type so imma keep it short. Hmmmm I think I try to hard to be ppls friends. I need to be who I am andthe real lasting friends will come. That is all. Woooooot. Gnight

tiny tim and the crabs.

ahhh. i didnt post yesterday. it totally blanked my mind. i slept wayy too late. haha. well in order to remember today, i have decided to post earlier. yes i know. ingenious. haha. for some reason, i got really lazy this week. its probably the weekend. it felt to much like a vacation, the mood probably leaked into this week. i need to pick it up. i was supposed to wake up at 8:50 today. i woke up at 9:50. sigh. missed a class bc of it. gotta pick it up.

so i got in lots of trouble this week from my parents. apparently i texted 500 my 250 limit. but it wasnt even about the money they were mad about. they were upset that i texted that much. i dont find 750 that many texts. well its more than my usual, but its not that much. they were yelling at me about how i wasnt concentrating in college and blah blah. they went through my text log and kept asking who i was texting. iono.... sigh.... and i calculated it, me being the math person i am. 750 in one month. thats 25 text per day. assuming that 1 text takes around 30 seconds, i text approximately 12.5 minutes per day. which i dont find to be that much. well iono man. i jst need to stop texting too much. woot.

i have found ppl in kcm that i really enjoy. ppl that can really motivate me and can jst chill with me. its a happy place now. i hope i can really grow lots in kcm. woot woot.

john and yada are coming this weekend. im pretty stoked. but i dont know what to do with them. i havent been out enough to know where to go. i also have a midterm next wednesday. gotta study for that but with them here for the weekend... iono. gotta study lots. woot woot.

oh and i fed tim the chesapeake bay crabs i brought back from maryland. he really enjoyed them. i must bring him over soon and show him the awesomeness of the cho family. woot woot.

hmm... i need to get back basics. i need to live with more passion. i feel like the fire in me is dwindling and i cant focus on what i am here for... to really study to glorify God. its not about me. its about you.

went to maryland to see merry ppl get married.

sorry for not posting. they didnt have internet over there. sooo yes. i went a wedding. i enjoyed myself but there were soo many ppl i didnt know. i literally asked ppl if they were in my family. haha sigh. i came home late so ill keep this short. well i got to hang out with my cousins and we all slept over at my cousins apartment. havent done that in a while. i really enjoy talking to ppl about anything that comes to mind. i have talked to my guy cousins alot but i really got to talk to sarah, the cousin one year older than me. we have lots in common, being the little ones of our group. only ones underage. haha. we still kinda drank tho :P shhhhh. i really like how i can talk to her without the awkward feeling of whether im getting to close to her or not. i guess i get that feeling sometimes when i talk to girls of whether i am getting to close to them and giving them the wrong idea. i only have a few girl i can talk to like that. lol.

well anyway. i got to drink this weekend. haha. not too much. dont worry. imma good boy. kinda tasted nasty but i now see why ppl drink, especially with friends. however, i dont quite see the reasoning behind getting drunk. iono yet. who knows. lol.

sigh. this weekend was an amazing break from school but its time to come back to reality. gotta study now. pound essays out. study for tests. this is who i am... and this is what i have to do now. bc i am a student. i must not forget that.... sigh. i always have to remind myself that it isnt about me, but its all for God. i study hard because i should want to glorify God, not to satisfy my worldy desires of wanting to be recognized. i forget this at times... and this go wrong when i do.

i need to pray more. i miss real genuine prayer. its been awhile....

PEACE! GNIGHT!

the sun will come out tomorrow.

ahhh. so got back the calc midterm. lets not talk about it. yes. that is a good idea. humm so after my midterm, i have been chilling alot, specially kcm ppl. i feel kinda bad bc that means less time with roommates, specially the tall one, but i guess i cant always have them with me. and the tall one doesnt feel comfortable around krns. or at least alot of them haha.

volleyball is uberly fun. played a real game today and mmaaannn does it feel good. sliding my body against the floor. getting those bruises and burns on my knees. quite awesome. haha.

hmm.. i really came to realize how hard college is. i cant push this off. change my study habits. its no longer jst happy play time after class, but now its do ur hw and review the lecture time when i get back to the dorms. i will try my best, and so will u :D WOOOT!

nothing much. meh. it rained. i guess im enjoying it. i kinda miss the sun tho. yeup. that is all for now. PEACE!

the day that just sucked.

midterms today. two of them. sigh. it was not a good first two midterms. so my story today. i woke up early. studied a little. first midterm, a breeze until the lat problem... i jst didnt know the last problem... at all.. sigh.. then skipped my next class to study. ended up having a popquiz in the class... yah i wasnt there to take it. then math jst raped me. i usually dont complain about my day but i jst feel like i needed to today.

i realized that i cant be upset for too long. iono if itsa good thing but i usually jst fume for about 30min. i then think about the things i wuld do bc i wuld be so upset. then i jst get over it. i guess it can be a good thing, seeing that i wont bring myself down, but i feel that its bc i dont care enough. iono. blah

well at least midterms are over. lol. my dad sent me a text "Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go"

even tho i got it after all my tests.... i still found it very motivating. AJAH! I CAN DO IT! ONLY 4 MORE YEARS :D

i guess im growing up now huh.

so i checked out a church by myself today. myself meaning without the tall one. went to cpc in cerritos. i know its far but i really enjoyed it. everyday, im finding these people that i really respect and look up to. today i met ed chang. he gave me a ride today and i had a chance to talk to him and stuff. man that guy is kinda beast. def a hyung. he is premed, but somehow he finds time to really glorify God. he leads the campus evangelism team and talking to him really opened my eyes. so far ive been talking about how i wanna know more about Gods word so that i could take on nonchristians in debates and answer all their questions, but how he put it really caused me to rethink my motives. He was told me about how it wasnt about knowing the answers, but about showing Gods love. Destroying an opponent in a religious debate achieves nothing and it often does more harm than good. Its the caring and honesty that really resonates in ppls hearts. This guy has really changed my view on the whole idea of evangalism and im really thankful that i met him early on in my freshmen year. oh and he also bought me pho. WOOT WOOT.

and i got this midterm thing tom morn. i shuld get to bed. gotta get ready. lol.

i think i wanna join kcm. i have found so many ppl i respect in KCM and i believe that they can really help me in my journey to God. I will have to pray on this one tho. Its a big decision. woot.

a.d.d

woke up at 2pm today. seeing as how late i slept last night, im sure that is no surprise. it did feel awesome but i realized that i kinda killed half the day. i remember this summer, i wuld wake up at 7 and go to qt. and it wuld be like 9 when i got back home. that was awesome. a nice long full day. iono now anymore. my day seems to start at 1 nowadays. since i end class at 1. haha.

well today was like intense study sesh. i sat down ready to study but things kept on distracting. first it was my messy desk. then it was my closet. then my drawers. then the trash can. kinda ended up being the whole room. so i kinda cleaned. did stuff. then i started studying. about 30 min. it wuld be something else. sigh. im so easily distracted. but hey at least its not fb :D i blocked it for a 2 hour period today. yes i know. im proud too. i guess its progress... sigh.

well tom is going to be study sesh number 2. gotta pwn those midterms on monday. woot. haha. well im checking out a new church tom so i shuld get going to bed.

hmmm i really enjoy writing in this blog. its like a nightly ritual i know have and its grown on me. and it really reminds me of this everyday pursuit thing. AJAH! I CAN DO IT :D WOOOOT! peace.

actions speak louder than words

had my final classes before my fist midterm. im pretty nervous about it. shuldnt be TOO bad. right? lol. well i stayed awake in those classes so im pretty proud of myself. haha

hum... i noticed i have been meeting alot of girls. iono... there are alot of guys too, but more girls than usual. alot of lettuces friends. random ppl. haha. they are all quite interesting. not so much "i have feelings for u" but jst like comfort with them. jst a lolsy observation.

so since everybody left to irvine, i was stuck here alone tonight with the roommates. we had some male bonding aka playing video games so it was chill. got to hang out in louises room without jasthuc in the room. quite a different atmosphere. haha. well since we are all krn, it was really fun. talking krn and all. we also talked about lots of things we wanted to do and where we wanted to go. it was so easy to say like "lets go to....blah" and i realized ive said that soo many time, but i have not put any effort into doing so. i feel very fake for doing so. verbally, i have the ambition of a beast, but when it comes down to physcial actions, iono... it jst doesnt seem to come out. haha...

its late and im tired. GNIGHT!

looking past those first impressions.

i basically slept through compsci today. iono why i even went. lol. so today was... hmmm john wooden's 100th bday. too bad he didnt make it all the way. i have to admit that reaching 100 is an impressive feat, but one i do not wish to achieve. but then again, it is not really up to me. lol.

i realized that i usually have a negative attitude towards ppl taht drink. i know in general, ppl who do so tend to be more... how to say this nicely.. more douchier ppl. but im sure there are plenty of awesome ppl out there who jst drink. i really need to look past that first impression and really get to know ppl.

this happend in kcm today. one of the freshmen ppl was all ktown gansta. ya know. the ny hat backwards. the flannel. the voice "wussup doode" and i immediately placed him to be this gangbanger korean punk. but as i got to know him and talk to him, i found his real passion for God. it was really blessing and kinda took me back. it really isnt about the outward appearance, but rather the inner one. i need to look past first impressions and really see ppl for who they really are. and with this thought... i really start to imagine what i am like on the outside vs. the inside. hmm....

well anyway, kcm today was fun. progressive dinner. got to go to ppls apartments and they talked to us about mission trips this past summer. they went to places like india, nicaragua, thailand and japan. iono but i feel very strongly towards japan. before this summer, i didnt think much about it, but right now i am feeling a calling. i guess this summer, my visit to japan really affected me. I remember being so lost when i went and i culdnt communicate, but i really have a sense of comfort around them. i will see what is plausible and who knows, maybe i will go.

midterms coming up. gotta study for those. like REALLY REALLY study for those. at least for calc i do. compsci is a joke. lol. sigh.

PEACE! AND TO ALL A GNIGHT!

ps. im happy i didnt go to the club today.

a happy place.

hum. today was interesting. so i woke up extra early so i culd get to calss and get good seats. and im sitting there with my friend and we start pulling stuff out to get ready. my professor goes to pull the projector screen down and BOOOM! it falls on her and hits her arm. all of us are O_O at the whole situation. "class is cancelled guys" we all awkwardly laugh. "no seriously guys. class is cancelled" ... and i woke up EXTRA early for it to... lol. i went to the library instead to study some. it was actually very nice. the atmopshere is very.... relaxing and i can freely go about my studies. and i think since everyone in studying, i dont get distracted as much. :D i think it will be a good place to study. happy place #1

midterms are on monday. two midterms. im ok with compsci but im FREAKING out about calc. BLAAAHHHH! i reaally dont know how i will do. sigh. i will try my best. AJAH!

so i found out about open gym for volleyball. a bunch of ppl my level. little up little down. they play vb every monday and wed. ITS WONDERFUL :D i havent had so much fun in a while. definitely happy place #2.

im slowly making more friends. closer friends... i think. haha. iono. i will jst have to go with the flow.

my cousins ethan yang photoshoot pics came out. they arent his best shots but im satisfied. lol.

gnight. woot.

bad impression.

hung out with kccc ppl today. some sports day practice. remember how i said i enjoyed bonding thru sports. i realize that i enjoy bonding thru.... good competitve sports. not some loligag WHEEE sports. sigh. iono and also had the small group. my leader doesnt seem to confident with his words. kinda repeats things over and over again. iono what to do. sigh.

i havent worked out in two days. lol. i feel the fat building up in my body. blubber. ppl at ucla are generally more fit and athletic. i think bc its such an athletic school, the students feel obligated to work out or exercise. lol. i guess that is good.

hum.... dont really have much to say today. hmmm a girl from kcm came up to me and this other girl and really wanted us to come. since i guess i already am christian, it didnt really bother me, but i saw that my friend was being bothered. the kcm girl was being very.... overly religious. talking about her mission. etc etc. and i know she means all good but iono, i think she was being to pushy with her way in bringing ppl to kcm. i find that alot of ppl look down on christians as being very intolerant and pushy, and i know most christians mean good to ppl, but i think its how they approach ppl with it that really makes the difference. iono. jst an observation. la dee dum

hmm.. gnight.

hey. im sleeping a little earlier :D

lol. its a little bit earlier than usual. yall shuld be proud of me. haha. hmm. i missed my compsci class today. iono. like. blah. i need to sleep earlier on sundays. at least my prof post the lecture up. woot.

i think im the only one in my room that cares about room cleanliness. seriously... im the only one who cares that there is a black banana in our fridge... frkn. i dont wanna be a maid but i dont wanna live in a trash can. at least my little corner is clean. lol.

so today was a chill day. tom will be busy. verryyy busy. kccc and kcm tom. gotta decide soon.

i ate with my hallmates today. they are very chill ppl. iono what to do with teh tall one tho. he can be sooo very socially awk at times. they asked tim to tell a joke... and tim didnt tell one for like 15 min. and it ended up not really making sense. he doesnt seem to laugh outside our dorm room. its strange. well my hallmates are cool. dont usually eat with them bc they are always "working" in the lounge. i cant study in there. haha. wayy too much distractions.

sigh. nothing much today. tom will be busy. so i be off now. PEACE.

self-discipline.

so went to a new church today. grace community church. it was huge. but oh my lol. it was a traditional church. first time i sang from a hymn book. it was quite interesting. and then the message was very very verryy loongg. and i honestly have to say that i dont quite remember what he was talking about.... sigh. well went to the college service after. again, quite similar. all their songs were like... from the 90s. i knew one of them, which i find shocking being that i have typed several hundreds songs for church. quite tradtional i must say. iono man. 4 hours long of servie is hard to handle. lol. i saw the tall one and my hallmates knocked out during the service.

well on the ride back from the church, the driver and this philosphy major got into a discussion about religion and christianity blah blah. all the philoshphy. how there are two jesus. the jesus of history and jesus our savior. and i really wanted to join in and speak my mind, but i realize that i dont quite know enough. i wuld think a response, but i realize i culdnt respond to his rebuttle. iono. i really want to be able to really talk to ppl at that philosophical level, to really reach out to ppl who have strong doubts. there was one comment about how it is healthy for humans to have some doubt. it jst depends on how u react to it. and that really spoke out to me. i guess im really at that "new christian" stage, where i have the basics down. i know what christianity is. and i believe it. but when i ask myself, "why are u christian?", i personally cant convince myself why. and this really upsets me, i feel like a simpleton who jst takes in what i said to me and soaks it up without any thought. i wanna build up my faith, so what i want now is self-discipline. i wanna try hard to understand and to really think. i want to really firmly establish my faith. deep roots.

also.... i need some self discipline for everyday collge life. this weekend... lol... i didnt do anyting academic. i feel lazzzyy. lol. i need to sleep eariler and do my work ahead of time. i must do this. blah.

played tennis today. i won. it felt good. winning feels good. lol. i want to keep winning. so i must work hard. AJAH! and i want a six pack. lol :P sigh.

hum dee dum.

today was chill day. went to the iv frosh frenzy. lol. got back home at 7am. woot woot. slept at 7:30 woke up at 1:45 pm. twas wonderful. haha. today was very unproductive. yeup. very very unproductive. haha. i sleep too late. IM SORRY J.LIN. so today i bought some bruinwear. comp stuff. rainbows. done shopping for a loooong time. spent some time with the garden patch crew. lol. aka jaslouise. certainly an interesting day. i promise i will do some work tom. for shizzles.

a person in the bruin store gave me their coupon. i saved money. i love how friendly ppl can be. gives me hope for our slightly weird world. haha.

the tall one lost his id down the elevator shaft. i loled. he was too tired this morning to really care that much. haha.

i am tired right now. sigh. i will post a better post tom.

good and bad.

today was nice and cool. i enjoyed the weather. got to kinda relax. however, it got kinda scary in calc today. i sat there, listening to the TA explaining some hw problem, and i kinda sat there, not comprehending one bit. it was so scary. that has never happened to me, like not knowing anything. ive always been able to deduce waht was going on... but today... iono. i need to step up my game in calc. i can do it. i know i can. as long as i try. AJAH.

so went to kccc today. i didnt really enjoy today as much. i reallly like the pastor. he is so cool. a really great model. the ppl there are great too. really worshipping God with a pure heart. that was what i came into college looking for. however, i also met some ppl who were drifitng away from God. i went with this one krn girl. typical christian background. went to church every sunday. etc etc. but now that she goes to college, she is drifting, said she was opened to trying new religions. it really upsets me seeing ppl drift away from the church. and what makes me even more upset is that i am not prepared to help bring them back. i talked to her about my experiences, and she seemed to understand, but i cant really seem to reach her. iono. i will have to keep on trying. as for ministries... i am liking kcm a litte more right now but i feel bad not joining kccc. for some reason, i feel obligated to. blaah

vb is starting soon :D i am so excited. i absoluetly love vb. it makes life more fun. more interesting. lol. woot.

weeks are flying by. they seem so quick. cant fall behind. lol.

oh and i started exploring music again, after being out of the loop for a few months. i found several krn indie folkpop bands that are amazing. i need to find ppl here with my music taste. no one seems to my taste. lol.

now i am off to bed. earlier than yesterday :P teehee. okok. PEACE.

rain has bad timing.

right at noon. when my class ended. i had another class in 10 min. the rain started to pour down. and i wanted a good seat. oh the decisions to make. i pulled my backpack straps up. put my hood up. pulled my pants up. then bolted. sooper fast. the rain did feel nice. it jst wasnt wanted at the moment. if it was after class, i wuldve gotten my hall mates and played football in the rain with them... but sadly... the rain stopped. bummer. and who knows when the rain will come with the intensity again. lol.

so today was a chill day. jst did some hw. school is settling down. im getting into a rhythm. i found an app that blocks certain sites for a given amount of time, and i cant do anything to stop it until the time runs out. i blocked fb. its been helping, and i keep adding new sites to the "blacklist". lol.

im really enjoying the college life. ive grown into my desk. into my bed. i dont really need anymore room than i have. i am happy right now. doenst mean that im content. obviously i still have lots of growing to do. mentally physically spiritually. im jst happy with the progress ive made. or at least i think ive made. im having fun.

doode. i need more doode friends. i have doode friends, but i wanna get like a doode best friend. haha. havent had one in a while.

laaa. going to sleep now. earlier than yesterday... right? lol.

sigh.

my sleeping habits suck.

time to walk the talk

from the third floor, i can see into the second floor lounge and almost everytime i pass it, i see ppl in there studying and i marvel at them. "man, why are they studying so much. i dont study that much. i need to study more" then i go play ping pong or tennis. lol. i know i have lots of freetime. i know i dont have poor studying habits, but i definitely can improve. i came to college to work hard and kinda pwn at life, so i think i need to try harder. its not always about having fun.... sigh

BUT I CAN STILL HAVE SOME FUN :D so kcm from all the uc campuses are attending a vb tourney at uci in like... 6 weeks. I cant wait for it. the tall one wants to play as well. it will be an awesome bonding experience. i might jst do the kcm activities and stuff but be more active in kccc. i feel that kccc will help me grow more. kcm has awesome fellowship. ahh iono yet. well iv is having a freshfest this friday-sunday. im probably oging to that to. ahhhh. soo many christian fellowships but lol. at least im meeting lots of awesome ppl.

i realize taht i enjoy programming. i started doing some computer science hw today and i acutally enjoyed it. funny how when i have a legit teacher, compsci is a little more fun. haha.

i think ppl here are starting to settle down. ppl are committing to frats, sororities, clubs, teams, fellowships etc. i guess the whole "we are all freshmen. we all love each other" period is over, and ppl are starting to form their group of friends. yah yah i know i will get my butt moving too. haha.

i think im the only one in the room that cares about room cleanliness. i do all the trash throwing away, cleaning fridge, stuff like that. iono. the othes jst dont care.... those punks. i guess i see the advantage in living in a single now... u lucky butt jesslin. but i still love my triple. learning lots about sacrifice and understanding ppl more. its fun.

well time to go to bed.... ppl actually keeping me in check... punks. lol. ty.


nice concept idea. i like how they assume that all we drink is water and alcohol. lol

running my race.

i realized today taht i need to fix my study habits. i go on fb way too much. iono. its become like instinct. everytime i have a small distraction, i jst go to chrome and click fb. bahhh. i cant do that. i need to be efficient with my time. blah. lol.

well week 2 has now started. assignments are starting to be due. papers and etc. i think im getting into the rhythm. go to class. come back to dorm. then go to gym. then come back. freetime/hw time (i need to revise that part... lol). getting into the swing. like a dragon boat rower. haha.

hmm... i think i need to make a nice close knit group of friends here. i love the tall one and short roomies but i need friends aside from them. i hear lots of ppl talking their christian fellowships, so im really excited for mine. it sounds so wonderful. going to small group with ppl and then hanging out with them during the week. eating dinner. going exploring. i really wanna go to ktown. louise lee already went. now i am jealous. haha. well other than that, i really want good influences in my life. as much as i enjoy jas and thuc company, i really have to make the line that we are essentially here for different purposes. i think as a christian, i really need to believe and live with a purpose different from worldy individual. im not saying nonchristian ppl are bad ppl, but im saying that i dont wanna be dragged away from my purpose by those who dont share my same purpose. i find it so hard to do qt and read the bible around those who dont qt and stuff. i know its been only like 2 weeks of college and ive been trying new things, but now that i know im not a partier, i wanna pump myself up and really run this race hard.

the tall one is not a good sc2 buddy. he steals my bases and my minerals. blah. he is a loser. haha. well tom is the first day of our 15 week jumping workout. wish us luck cuz we is gonna dunk :P

side note: i still havent fixed my sleep sced. as u can see by the time of this post date. someone come beat me up about this.... lol.


this is a painting. i know... mind blowing.

recovering from a late night.

so woke up at 11:30. stupid ants crawling on my face woke me up. sigh. I HATE ANTS! BAAHH! THE WORST CREATURES EVARR. blargh. well i got to sleep in and not wake up to a clock alarm. woo.

basketball was fun. again, the best way to bond is to play sports with ppl. it makes everything so much more fun. enjoyable. i realized that i dont really have a "i have to win" attitudes. i want to be more aggressive. i want to want that "A". i want to win at sports. iono. i was really happy when i was happy when i won my basketball game. it really makes all the effort worth it. ion blahhh. im sleepy cant think straight. lol.

almost beat the tall one at sc2. he got soo lucky. ridic.

bah. im sorry for the lame post. i am tiiireedd. lol

sigh... what did i get myself into...

so first full week of school. pretty happy it went ok. had some rough spots. met new ppl. made new friends. did my hw. twas a typical week of college i guess. haha. i do hafta say that it goes by quickly. pretty excited tho. i really wanna settle into a christian fellowship bc i know that it will be a good influence on me.

i started air alert with the tall one. we are going to dunk but shhh. dont tell anyone :P its our little secret. its gonna be a hard 15 weeks but we are going to push hard and we are gonna dunk.

played tennis with the hall ppl. finally a little more bonding. it was quite fun. i think the best way for me to bond with people is to play sports with them. doing something physical. it really helps with fellowship.

so now for the big event of my night.... sigh... iono what i was thinking. so jas called me up at around 8 and asks if i wanna go to a club with her and her hall ppl at 8:30. i panic and dont know what to do but i end up going (ditching sc2 with the tall one). well we get there and all the girls are like changing and etc all excited and so we get to the bus stop where a bus was picking us up but once i got there.... everyone seemed.... a little... brown.... it ended up being an indian group having an event at a club..... T_T sigh.... so that was that. so awk. i love my asian ppls. i love korea

so clubs.... not my thing.... at all. iono what it was today.... maybe the horrible dj... or the small room.... but i def did not enjoy myself that much. i guess it was a good experience. at least i now know i dont like clubs at all and that i will most likely avoid them from now on. well i wanna go to a ktown club once too :P teehee.

its late. i did not enjoy my night too much. i am tired. i did not get to play sc2 with tim. no dinner. sigh. what did i get myself into..... blah

gotta make a decision.

so today i met doo hee. the head staff member of kccc and i do have to say, i really respect him. basically identical to p. james. i know he will def be a spiritual role model and can really help me with my journey. i had a really honest convo with him for about 2 hours and i really opened up to him. it was awesome. but then i also went to kcm today. i went not really expecting much but i really have to say that i did enjoy it a lot. i don't know if its the volleyball acting up in me, bc they have their big kcm sports day and they be playing vb. all my church friends were talking trash on ucla for not winning a game last year, so i really wanted to play this year. bah. iono. kcm has a nice support group. nice mixture of krn and english. accountability groups. ahhhh. i guess i really need to pray about this. it is a big decision.

so vb really got me thinking about like working out. man i really wanna play and be good. i wanna jump high. dunk over ppl. that would be amazing. but that requires work so im determined now. ahhh. gotta do it.

our room is infested with ants. they find all my food. i wanna buy ant spray but tim doesn't. he says it smells. imam buy it anyway. lol.

i just heard a drunk scream in the hall. ppl are coming back from thirsty thursday parties. lol. sounds like…. fun…. not really. woot.

i need to sleep earlier so that i can spend more time on writing better posts. blaaahh.

disappointed in myself.... sigh

so today... i missed my first class. i mean its not even the first week.... sigh. so the tall one woke me by like saying "wake up" and i responded with a small grunt. and i went back to bed. i woke up at 10:03. my class started at 10:00. it takes like 5 min to get ready and 15 min to get to class.... so i jst dont go to class.. lol. sigh. this is definitly not the start i need right now. i need to pick up my game and BLAH. i wont do it again. i promise. frkn blah.

there are ants in my room. they found my brownies and now they have created a nice loong trail of ants from the wall to my brownies. i am sad bc it was a full bag. sigh. i have learned my lesson to not do that anymore. haha.

today i realized that as the weekend approached, i didnt realize what i was going to do. i mean i cant study the whole time.. nor can i game the whole day. there isa football game coming up but its against wash u. and they suck. lol. so iono. i guess illl play some tennis... and walk around westwood. who knows.

im still trying to get "templar" to be a new hip word. it jst sounds so... legit. still trying to find a definition tho. sigh the hardest part.

did qt today. it was a nice start to the day. i hope i get up ealry enough tom to do it again. i need a litte more routine in my life right bc it is all over the place.

peace... out. wooot.

bad sleeping habits.

i must sleep earlier. i cannot develop the same sleeping patterns i had senior year. i am no longer in carefree mode. or at least i shuldnt. i guess senior second semester was a wee bit too long. haha.

today was a chill day. i looked at my sced and i realized that i have a pretty chill quarter. i guess i will have to utilize my time now, going to fellowships, making some friends, going to some par(ks + tys) wheee. i will get into a good rhythm. sleep early. wake up early. DO MY QT! I NEED TO DO THEM! AHHH! do my hw early so that i have more time to get my college life set and ready for the next 4 years. haha.

so i played some tennis and ping pong today. ive been playing lots of raquet sports. iono why but its been helping me bond with tim alot and i really like that. i guess the whole living together thing helps as well. haha. we play sc2 together co-op. one room one team. haha.

apparently dry week is over at the frats. that means hella lotta parties with drunk ppl. ppl in my discussion were talking about getting hammered and having random injuries all over their body from falling over and stuff. sounds very.... stupid. like why wuld anyone want to lose control of their whole body and go crazy. iono man. ppl do weird stuff in college. lol. i will stay away from the drinking as much as possible. no drunk andy please. lol.

ahh okok. its getting late. gotta sleep early if i wanna do qt tom morn. OKOK. WHEEEE!!!

milk and cookies

so first monday of real college classes. a full schedule. had every class. including my fiat lux. classes were meh but the fiat lux was sooo fun. well it was slow at first but when we got to the application part. SOOO FUN. lol. there is a reason i love stats ppl. i jst love it arbitrarily. lol. its actually useful and kinda amazing

tim and i are starting to bond more. we walked to bestbuy and ralphs today. we jst talked and chilled and it was nice. i bought sc2 and he bought milano. lol. i was worried before bc he is soooo quiet but im happy that we are getting along. i jst hope now that i can really get along with the short one. he is cool but we jst dont have all the same interests. i will try hard.

SOO OUR HALL HAD MILK AND COOKIES TODAY. jasmine was bragging about how she had milk and cookies and i got all jealous BUT now we had our own SO BOOYAH. i hope our dorm gets more social. haha. a girl in the room next to us always asks if we are going out to party. we always say no. iono how she balances her life with school and parties. i guess them sorority girls are jst O_o haha. apparently they can officially start having parties so i bet they are all going off to drink and party hard. ive decided to not get drunk here. nupe. haha. got other plans now. wheee.

im sleeeping way too late. i need to sleep earlier. lol. blaaah.

rhapsody in blue with some debussy to top it off.

so my tall roommate and i are trying to get a new phrase out there; "templar" haha. it sounds so sleek and chill. like "dang thats so templar" we are still trying create the definition but yah, jst wait for it, it will be TEMPLAR-GENDARY.

i started doing hw today and i realized taht my regular pop/rock/electro music is a little too harsh and distracting to study to, so ive gone back the basics and gone classical. listening to rhapsody in blue, debussy, and august rush, a good study sesh it was. i love how classical music can be so expressive. every emotion can be so fluidly portrayed and it jst floats into ur ear and u soak it in. quite amazing.

i set up my router finally. named it templar archives. yes i know it is awesome. and now i think i will get sc2. i know it maybe a distraction but i will try my best to keep it a hobby, a way to blow off steam and a way to stat away from drinking and stuff. drinking has really been a big topic recently. iono why. but i honestly think i can make due without it. i may have some at a jazz club (i want to find one) but i know i can control myself. im not stupid. i will not get drunk. too many dumb things happen when ur drunk.

so a new week starts. first full week of class. i am definitely nervous. but i find that praying really helps me calm down. and not like a typical prayer. but one outloud. one that i can say whatever i want. its not for anyone else except for God. i often find myself using big words and eloquent sentences when i am picked to pray in front of a group, but i always feel so ungenuine and fake. and so thats why i love this prayer. one where i jst talk and laugh and giggle. it really helps me to feel God's presence and how much he really loves me for who i am.

so off to bed now. gotta a loong day tom. WOOT WOOT!

firebird.

went home today and now i realize that i am in love with my bed at home. a big queen size, i can roll around and still be on the bed. i can wrap myself in the blanket and be completely enveloped by it. the mattress is at jst the right firmness, still cushioning my body while supporting its weight. it is amazing. i wuld let u use it, but she is mine and she is in love with me. yeup.

so other than that, i got to enjoy korean food. man do i miss korean food and it has only been a week. yes i know... quite sad but still... a korean doode gots to have korean foood. i probably culdnt function properly without it. sigh... looks like im going to have to marry a korean girl. yeupp. and she will cook korean food for me while i grill meat for her. tis an awesome couple.

video didnt play at the wedding. bah i hate pc. they ruin everything.

so talked to my friend today about drinking again. and what she told me really made me rethink the concept of drinking. she told me that drinking at a frat party is no fun, but its really about drinking with friends that makes it fun. i can totally see that. and im not saying i agree with drinking, but i see why ppl drink. anything done with friends is fun. like even waiting line with friends can be fun. so i see now that drinking friends may be a fun activity and i may be open to a cup or two, but i still dont quite see the underlying motive for drinking. blah. i will have to see.

i listened to firebird today. the fantasia one. its so frkn amazing. the piece itself is mind blowing but add the animation and u get a orgasm in video form (no... not porn... but even better :P) its such an encouraging piece. it strangely pumps me up and gets me off my lazy butt and do something. iono how to explain it but whenever i hear the end when the brass come in with the fanfare... doode... shivers down my back. sooo goood. i need to get back into listening to classical. i used to listen alot. iono what happened. i like classical + modern remixs. i wonder if there are any good djs who do that... hmmm...

i need to take sammy out on a date.

that is all.

hall bonding.

so first day of lectures. 10 minute passing periods are wonderful. lol. ppl go to class way to early :( i dont have any good seats by the time i get there. lol. i enjoyed class today tho. it was quite fun. haha. i know that as long as i do the work and spend the time with all the assignments, i shuld be able to do fine in all of them. i really want good grades so woot. lol a big change from hs. i guess thats good.

finally had some legit bonding time with the hall today. dodgeball tourney was really fun. got to the semifinals but we got destroyed. they were upperclassmen so blah. anyway, it felt really nice to finally really get to know my hall. the best way to bond with a guy is to laugh with them and play sports with them. combination of the two makes it uberbonding. haha. i know i may get jealous of other ppls halls but i honestly really like my hall as well. i jst wanna make it more social. lol

so i thought about it all last night about alcohol and i really do realize that i dont know enough about it and thats its naive to judge ppl bc they drink. i might go to a frat party so ill see what its like. no worries. im not going to get drunk. lol

now im sleeeppy. going to pauls wedding tom. FUN TIMES YEAH!

side thought: i love korean ppl. its so easy to bond with them. i think they are jst cooler ppl in general :P

mixed feelings.

so started classes. both were discussions so no real classes yet but i do hafta say that i am loving the 50 minute classes. lol. i guess ill hafta wait till hw comes out. the TAs were pretty chill. hope they stay that way through out. haha. my math TA is white. lol. i thought he was going to be asian but looll. real lectures start tom so looking forward to those then its THE WEEKEND! YAH! WOOOOOT! lol. first week of school almost over.

went to the KCCC orientation chapel today. it felt very natural in that it was basically a krn gathering. something ive been to my whole life. very homey and ppl were welcoming, treated me like family. very nice. it was really a huge blessing seeing a bunch of the upperclass men really worshiping God with a genuine heart. everyone is kind of a role model in that sense. It would be awesome to sit down with them and talk with them. about anything. school. prayer requests. LIFE. frkn life bc its "hella" confusing at times.

oh so i decided that once everyone goes back to irvine during the winter, we shuld play a game and whoever says "hella" in a complete sentence loses. lol. i say the indian will lose :P

college. i dont think a week is long enough for me to really place it but its certainly very confusing. i think it really boils down to freedom. jst a huge amount of freedom. and we really reap what we sow. i see it as essentially college is a time for freedom utilization. a place where we can really use that freedom and manipulate it to satisfy our desires. now it can be potentially uber beneficial. taking the right classes. talking to professors. joining the right clubs. growing mentally, physically, mentally etc. but it can be detrimental as well if we choose the wrong path, and im not saying joining clubs like kccc or iv is the right path, but what im trying to say is that we need priorities. the decision between what we need and we dont need. college really boils down to that idea of "what do i need to do to better myself?" iono man. its really been on my mind. haha. blargh. whhee

alcohol. why. i see nothing in it. absolutely no benefit to my life. and i know i have a very narrow scope of what alcohol is but no matter how hard i think, i find to reasoning. no purpose. when we look at humans at its lowest form, we do what benefits us. we eat to create energy. we build to make everyday easier. and plug in alcohol. we drink alcohol to.... drown out life and lose all senses... useless. but then again, this is coming from a drinking noob. im going to have to go to a party and think think this one through. lol.

worked out next to the big black doode today. my measly 25lbs dumbell dont look so tough compared to his 90lbs dumbells. but i stopped caring. i jst think, "i bet i can jump higher than him" then i smile and go on lifting my beast weights. woot.

a real college student with real college classes

my sleeping habits suck and class hasnt even started yet. time to step up my game. woot. class finally starts tom and i do have to say that i am nervous. im excited to start learning but bahhh i really i hope i can handle the load. im sure it will be fine... right... everyone else does. my turn to grow up. woot

iv meeting was fun. i honestly really enjoyed it. i didnt know what to expect going into it but i had fun. met some cool ppl. lots of diversity. thats the big change. ive never had small group with a nonkrn person. haha. if i end up joining, it would certainly be a new experience. im going to check out kccc soon. dont know how they function, but it is a krn group. p.james did it so i have a rough idea of how its going to work. ive been to a krn church my whole life.. im sure it will be similar.

lol so i went to my statistics "open house" lol. im sure its a good sign when i walk into the room, i see a bunch of professors and grad students playing poker... lol... ended up being like the 5th annual poker night held by the stats department. haha. it was really legit but i didnt join in. i kept saying to myself, "do it. its a good way to meet professors" but i culdnt get myself to do it. iono what holding me back but i know im not trying my best... blah. iono.

so my goal for this quarter is to really go out and beyond. try my best... not enough. try more than my best. i really wanna start this college thing on the right foot. run this race as fast as i can. AJAH

mandatory volunteering... sounds about right?

i woke up at 6:45. the earliest ive woken up these past several weeks. all so that i could participate in volunteer day. oh the irony of making it mandatory for freshmen. haha. it was a chill day. first day we actually bonded as a hall. played some ninja and ultimate frisbee at the beach. twas a chill day. we had a hobo yell at us about ucla and communism and etc. blah blah. so we all kindly responded in a spirited ucla 8clap cheer. haha. yeup. i enjoyed it

we also have adapted an open door policy in our room/hall so we have kept our door open in attempt to spur some social interaction between everyone. i guess its ok. i got to meet some ppl that way. iv came by to introduce themselves. i really liked that. providing direct interaction instead of an impersonal email probably carbon copied to hundreds of ppl. i will have to check it out now. along with kccc/kcm.

got back into film editing today. met another film person today. made me really realize how much i enjoy film and how it really relaxes me. im def going to keep it as a hobby. i love that i can really say that this is my passion, something i enjoy outside my academic life. i think its really helped me and influenced me in meeting new ppl and making new friends. i love film.

so i did qt today. first time this week. i realy need to get back into it. i jst find it so much more inconvenient to do. not enough time etc etc. blahh. i hate how the people i can really trust with this stuff live far away from ucla. i guess im going to need to open up and really try hard/pray hard to make thru college.

side thought: lol. so i met a girl who was allergic to latex today. looks like someone isnt going to be having lots of protected sex. looool. tooo bad.

stat + stat = an explosion of awesomness XD

activities fair today. i feel bad that im ignoring all these frat houses passing out flyers. but i dont wannna join so i will continue to ignore them. haha. so went to KCCC booth bc p.james and mike said it was chill. and something amazing happened. as i was filling out my info card, one of the girls saw that my major was statistic. lol. she was also a stat major. amazingness jst exploded right then and there. we both freaked out and we clicked. not the relationship click but a more "YES WE ARE FKRN AMAZING! I LOVE STATISTICS! YES!" everyone around us kept on saying we were weird... but naive fools :P jst wait and see. we are kinda beast.

also had our official welcome event thing. for all the freshmen. there are soo many of us. i def wont be meeting everyone. i guess thats the nature of a public university. we had a motivational speaker. jst the usual speech. the whole "challenge urself. make the most out of ur college experience" i guess its the same thing that my parents have been telling me all summer. i know what im supposed to do. but actually doing it is a totally different story. for that, we will jst have to see in 4 years huh. lol.

and as for college as a whole, im really starting to see why people drift away from church during college. i am feeling the effects of all this freedom. not being in check. its really tough to keep myself spiritually accountable and i guess i dont really quite have the friends to do so. iono. im kinda desperate to find people that can really help me with this journey. im going to have to check out the christian fellowships. hopefully ill grow alot with them.

i dont really wanna be a billionaire...

lol. so second day. im pretty happy with church today. very welcoming. a nice warm environment. the pastor was taking about the pursuit of happiness and i kinda loled. a pursuit huh. sounds familiar :P well i enjoyed church, so i will jst have to see where i am led next.

today was bruinbash. i kinda made my roommates go, most likely against their will. im jst trying to spur some social spirit into them. i have to say that i had some pretty high expectations from this concert, being my first one and all. and it was travie mccoy. he is famous... right? hmm....and having come back from it, i have one word. overrated. i dont think concerts are very me. it was lame and not very musical. i did enjoy the random student dj. i guess my whole life, ive been told how "cool" and "awesome" concerts were. it was totally hyped up for me and i got really excited... but bust. too much bass.

but now i can really say that i dont like concerts. i guess thats what college is about. trying new things. jst being adventurous. so im happy i went and now i can firmly say i probably wont go to another one. i guess its jst not something i enjoy. haha. discovering little things about myself little by little. im liking this.

side thought: how do sorority girls hold up and wave their arms around for such a long time. do they not know its an asian punishment? many lols.

first impressions.

so im here. all my stuff is set up. packed away. wifi sucks. ill deal with it. but otherwise, im pretty satisfied with my first day of college. i am liking the foood. UCLA beat Houston today. my roommate likes football and he brought an xbox. woot. my other roommate doesnt talk. no surprise there. it has been a pretty chill day.

but i do realize that i need to meet ppl. for the months leading up to college, all ive been thinking about is meeting new ppl. getting to know them and jst talking with them. i know its only been a day but i wanna get out there and meet ppl. i had a few chances today but for some reason, i culdnt gather myself to really get to know them. i mean, we did the whole shake hands, "my names blah blah. whats urs?" but that isnt really getting to know people. there is a difference between meeting and getting to know people. maybe im being too ambitious to get my college dreams started. iono. i guess ill jst have to go with the flow.

and with that, ive decided to create another goal for myself. its to jst be me. i know i will eventually meet people and that i will eventually get to know them. i dont wanna force my idea of a perfect college experience into everyone elses life so im jst going to with the flow. if i am me, the right ppl for me will come and we will become great friends. i jst need to see when i meet them. whee.

so woot. its gettting late on my first day. dont wanna stay up toooo late. soooo gnight :D

the calm before the storm.

the day before i move in. i havent been doing much these past few weeks. but not im excited. ive been waiting my whole life for this moment. now it is here like a nonstop torrent that will probably overwhelm me and pwn me. who knows what there is in store for me in college. i honestly say that i am nervous. possibly terrified. blargh.

however, it is now that i am reminded of a japanese photographer. asado masashi is a brilliant photographer. man this guy is inspirational. basically his story was that he needed to complete an assignment for his photography class but he did it last minute so he used his family as the models in his shots. well he took the idea and basically built off it, making a whole album of family portraits in different lolsy situations.









his photography is amazing. its so simple but it captures so much detail. but the thing that really got me entranced was how fun it looked. how everyone was really getting into each scene and how much they each enjoyed it. and this really got me because it made me realize that the best way to produce is to enjoy what you are producing. only then will something so amazing and creative come to life.

and with this, i leave to college. my goal, to have fun. not in the partying sense but to really, like honestly enjoy and be interested in what i study bc it is only then will i realize my bigger plan and purpose. imma ride this storm :D

Pilot

ive always said that i wanted to start a blog. my excuse was that i culd never think of a legit name and everyone knows that a legit blog is in need of a legit name. lol. so i was thinking about it this summer (had lots of time) and it kinda of came to me. "An Everyday Pursuit" i guess i see life as a constant pursuit of something. whatever it may be, happiness, success, or pleasure. it all kind of boils down to living with a purpose. always have a a goal in mind. and so i am creating this blog to remind me to my daily purpose and my goals. im not going to keep it a strictly "write my goals and aspirations" journal, but i wanna have some fun and just write. so whey.

so basically, the purpose of this blog is to:
1) remind myself of my purpose and goals
2) a way to think more independently. i wanna be creative
3) just have fun. ill probably end up posting pictures, videos and links that i think worth its time. 

so yeah. there u have it. i really hope i can keep this blog alive :D

keep me in check too. im going to need it.