disappointed in myself.... sigh

so today... i missed my first class. i mean its not even the first week.... sigh. so the tall one woke me by like saying "wake up" and i responded with a small grunt. and i went back to bed. i woke up at 10:03. my class started at 10:00. it takes like 5 min to get ready and 15 min to get to class.... so i jst dont go to class.. lol. sigh. this is definitly not the start i need right now. i need to pick up my game and BLAH. i wont do it again. i promise. frkn blah.

there are ants in my room. they found my brownies and now they have created a nice loong trail of ants from the wall to my brownies. i am sad bc it was a full bag. sigh. i have learned my lesson to not do that anymore. haha.

today i realized that as the weekend approached, i didnt realize what i was going to do. i mean i cant study the whole time.. nor can i game the whole day. there isa football game coming up but its against wash u. and they suck. lol. so iono. i guess illl play some tennis... and walk around westwood. who knows.

im still trying to get "templar" to be a new hip word. it jst sounds so... legit. still trying to find a definition tho. sigh the hardest part.

did qt today. it was a nice start to the day. i hope i get up ealry enough tom to do it again. i need a litte more routine in my life right bc it is all over the place.

peace... out. wooot.

bad sleeping habits.

i must sleep earlier. i cannot develop the same sleeping patterns i had senior year. i am no longer in carefree mode. or at least i shuldnt. i guess senior second semester was a wee bit too long. haha.

today was a chill day. i looked at my sced and i realized that i have a pretty chill quarter. i guess i will have to utilize my time now, going to fellowships, making some friends, going to some par(ks + tys) wheee. i will get into a good rhythm. sleep early. wake up early. DO MY QT! I NEED TO DO THEM! AHHH! do my hw early so that i have more time to get my college life set and ready for the next 4 years. haha.

so i played some tennis and ping pong today. ive been playing lots of raquet sports. iono why but its been helping me bond with tim alot and i really like that. i guess the whole living together thing helps as well. haha. we play sc2 together co-op. one room one team. haha.

apparently dry week is over at the frats. that means hella lotta parties with drunk ppl. ppl in my discussion were talking about getting hammered and having random injuries all over their body from falling over and stuff. sounds very.... stupid. like why wuld anyone want to lose control of their whole body and go crazy. iono man. ppl do weird stuff in college. lol. i will stay away from the drinking as much as possible. no drunk andy please. lol.

ahh okok. its getting late. gotta sleep early if i wanna do qt tom morn. OKOK. WHEEEE!!!

milk and cookies

so first monday of real college classes. a full schedule. had every class. including my fiat lux. classes were meh but the fiat lux was sooo fun. well it was slow at first but when we got to the application part. SOOO FUN. lol. there is a reason i love stats ppl. i jst love it arbitrarily. lol. its actually useful and kinda amazing

tim and i are starting to bond more. we walked to bestbuy and ralphs today. we jst talked and chilled and it was nice. i bought sc2 and he bought milano. lol. i was worried before bc he is soooo quiet but im happy that we are getting along. i jst hope now that i can really get along with the short one. he is cool but we jst dont have all the same interests. i will try hard.

SOO OUR HALL HAD MILK AND COOKIES TODAY. jasmine was bragging about how she had milk and cookies and i got all jealous BUT now we had our own SO BOOYAH. i hope our dorm gets more social. haha. a girl in the room next to us always asks if we are going out to party. we always say no. iono how she balances her life with school and parties. i guess them sorority girls are jst O_o haha. apparently they can officially start having parties so i bet they are all going off to drink and party hard. ive decided to not get drunk here. nupe. haha. got other plans now. wheee.

im sleeeping way too late. i need to sleep earlier. lol. blaaah.

rhapsody in blue with some debussy to top it off.

so my tall roommate and i are trying to get a new phrase out there; "templar" haha. it sounds so sleek and chill. like "dang thats so templar" we are still trying create the definition but yah, jst wait for it, it will be TEMPLAR-GENDARY.

i started doing hw today and i realized taht my regular pop/rock/electro music is a little too harsh and distracting to study to, so ive gone back the basics and gone classical. listening to rhapsody in blue, debussy, and august rush, a good study sesh it was. i love how classical music can be so expressive. every emotion can be so fluidly portrayed and it jst floats into ur ear and u soak it in. quite amazing.

i set up my router finally. named it templar archives. yes i know it is awesome. and now i think i will get sc2. i know it maybe a distraction but i will try my best to keep it a hobby, a way to blow off steam and a way to stat away from drinking and stuff. drinking has really been a big topic recently. iono why. but i honestly think i can make due without it. i may have some at a jazz club (i want to find one) but i know i can control myself. im not stupid. i will not get drunk. too many dumb things happen when ur drunk.

so a new week starts. first full week of class. i am definitely nervous. but i find that praying really helps me calm down. and not like a typical prayer. but one outloud. one that i can say whatever i want. its not for anyone else except for God. i often find myself using big words and eloquent sentences when i am picked to pray in front of a group, but i always feel so ungenuine and fake. and so thats why i love this prayer. one where i jst talk and laugh and giggle. it really helps me to feel God's presence and how much he really loves me for who i am.

so off to bed now. gotta a loong day tom. WOOT WOOT!

firebird.

went home today and now i realize that i am in love with my bed at home. a big queen size, i can roll around and still be on the bed. i can wrap myself in the blanket and be completely enveloped by it. the mattress is at jst the right firmness, still cushioning my body while supporting its weight. it is amazing. i wuld let u use it, but she is mine and she is in love with me. yeup.

so other than that, i got to enjoy korean food. man do i miss korean food and it has only been a week. yes i know... quite sad but still... a korean doode gots to have korean foood. i probably culdnt function properly without it. sigh... looks like im going to have to marry a korean girl. yeupp. and she will cook korean food for me while i grill meat for her. tis an awesome couple.

video didnt play at the wedding. bah i hate pc. they ruin everything.

so talked to my friend today about drinking again. and what she told me really made me rethink the concept of drinking. she told me that drinking at a frat party is no fun, but its really about drinking with friends that makes it fun. i can totally see that. and im not saying i agree with drinking, but i see why ppl drink. anything done with friends is fun. like even waiting line with friends can be fun. so i see now that drinking friends may be a fun activity and i may be open to a cup or two, but i still dont quite see the underlying motive for drinking. blah. i will have to see.

i listened to firebird today. the fantasia one. its so frkn amazing. the piece itself is mind blowing but add the animation and u get a orgasm in video form (no... not porn... but even better :P) its such an encouraging piece. it strangely pumps me up and gets me off my lazy butt and do something. iono how to explain it but whenever i hear the end when the brass come in with the fanfare... doode... shivers down my back. sooo goood. i need to get back into listening to classical. i used to listen alot. iono what happened. i like classical + modern remixs. i wonder if there are any good djs who do that... hmmm...

i need to take sammy out on a date.

that is all.

hall bonding.

so first day of lectures. 10 minute passing periods are wonderful. lol. ppl go to class way to early :( i dont have any good seats by the time i get there. lol. i enjoyed class today tho. it was quite fun. haha. i know that as long as i do the work and spend the time with all the assignments, i shuld be able to do fine in all of them. i really want good grades so woot. lol a big change from hs. i guess thats good.

finally had some legit bonding time with the hall today. dodgeball tourney was really fun. got to the semifinals but we got destroyed. they were upperclassmen so blah. anyway, it felt really nice to finally really get to know my hall. the best way to bond with a guy is to laugh with them and play sports with them. combination of the two makes it uberbonding. haha. i know i may get jealous of other ppls halls but i honestly really like my hall as well. i jst wanna make it more social. lol

so i thought about it all last night about alcohol and i really do realize that i dont know enough about it and thats its naive to judge ppl bc they drink. i might go to a frat party so ill see what its like. no worries. im not going to get drunk. lol

now im sleeeppy. going to pauls wedding tom. FUN TIMES YEAH!

side thought: i love korean ppl. its so easy to bond with them. i think they are jst cooler ppl in general :P

mixed feelings.

so started classes. both were discussions so no real classes yet but i do hafta say that i am loving the 50 minute classes. lol. i guess ill hafta wait till hw comes out. the TAs were pretty chill. hope they stay that way through out. haha. my math TA is white. lol. i thought he was going to be asian but looll. real lectures start tom so looking forward to those then its THE WEEKEND! YAH! WOOOOOT! lol. first week of school almost over.

went to the KCCC orientation chapel today. it felt very natural in that it was basically a krn gathering. something ive been to my whole life. very homey and ppl were welcoming, treated me like family. very nice. it was really a huge blessing seeing a bunch of the upperclass men really worshiping God with a genuine heart. everyone is kind of a role model in that sense. It would be awesome to sit down with them and talk with them. about anything. school. prayer requests. LIFE. frkn life bc its "hella" confusing at times.

oh so i decided that once everyone goes back to irvine during the winter, we shuld play a game and whoever says "hella" in a complete sentence loses. lol. i say the indian will lose :P

college. i dont think a week is long enough for me to really place it but its certainly very confusing. i think it really boils down to freedom. jst a huge amount of freedom. and we really reap what we sow. i see it as essentially college is a time for freedom utilization. a place where we can really use that freedom and manipulate it to satisfy our desires. now it can be potentially uber beneficial. taking the right classes. talking to professors. joining the right clubs. growing mentally, physically, mentally etc. but it can be detrimental as well if we choose the wrong path, and im not saying joining clubs like kccc or iv is the right path, but what im trying to say is that we need priorities. the decision between what we need and we dont need. college really boils down to that idea of "what do i need to do to better myself?" iono man. its really been on my mind. haha. blargh. whhee

alcohol. why. i see nothing in it. absolutely no benefit to my life. and i know i have a very narrow scope of what alcohol is but no matter how hard i think, i find to reasoning. no purpose. when we look at humans at its lowest form, we do what benefits us. we eat to create energy. we build to make everyday easier. and plug in alcohol. we drink alcohol to.... drown out life and lose all senses... useless. but then again, this is coming from a drinking noob. im going to have to go to a party and think think this one through. lol.

worked out next to the big black doode today. my measly 25lbs dumbell dont look so tough compared to his 90lbs dumbells. but i stopped caring. i jst think, "i bet i can jump higher than him" then i smile and go on lifting my beast weights. woot.

a real college student with real college classes

my sleeping habits suck and class hasnt even started yet. time to step up my game. woot. class finally starts tom and i do have to say that i am nervous. im excited to start learning but bahhh i really i hope i can handle the load. im sure it will be fine... right... everyone else does. my turn to grow up. woot

iv meeting was fun. i honestly really enjoyed it. i didnt know what to expect going into it but i had fun. met some cool ppl. lots of diversity. thats the big change. ive never had small group with a nonkrn person. haha. if i end up joining, it would certainly be a new experience. im going to check out kccc soon. dont know how they function, but it is a krn group. p.james did it so i have a rough idea of how its going to work. ive been to a krn church my whole life.. im sure it will be similar.

lol so i went to my statistics "open house" lol. im sure its a good sign when i walk into the room, i see a bunch of professors and grad students playing poker... lol... ended up being like the 5th annual poker night held by the stats department. haha. it was really legit but i didnt join in. i kept saying to myself, "do it. its a good way to meet professors" but i culdnt get myself to do it. iono what holding me back but i know im not trying my best... blah. iono.

so my goal for this quarter is to really go out and beyond. try my best... not enough. try more than my best. i really wanna start this college thing on the right foot. run this race as fast as i can. AJAH

mandatory volunteering... sounds about right?

i woke up at 6:45. the earliest ive woken up these past several weeks. all so that i could participate in volunteer day. oh the irony of making it mandatory for freshmen. haha. it was a chill day. first day we actually bonded as a hall. played some ninja and ultimate frisbee at the beach. twas a chill day. we had a hobo yell at us about ucla and communism and etc. blah blah. so we all kindly responded in a spirited ucla 8clap cheer. haha. yeup. i enjoyed it

we also have adapted an open door policy in our room/hall so we have kept our door open in attempt to spur some social interaction between everyone. i guess its ok. i got to meet some ppl that way. iv came by to introduce themselves. i really liked that. providing direct interaction instead of an impersonal email probably carbon copied to hundreds of ppl. i will have to check it out now. along with kccc/kcm.

got back into film editing today. met another film person today. made me really realize how much i enjoy film and how it really relaxes me. im def going to keep it as a hobby. i love that i can really say that this is my passion, something i enjoy outside my academic life. i think its really helped me and influenced me in meeting new ppl and making new friends. i love film.

so i did qt today. first time this week. i realy need to get back into it. i jst find it so much more inconvenient to do. not enough time etc etc. blahh. i hate how the people i can really trust with this stuff live far away from ucla. i guess im going to need to open up and really try hard/pray hard to make thru college.

side thought: lol. so i met a girl who was allergic to latex today. looks like someone isnt going to be having lots of protected sex. looool. tooo bad.

stat + stat = an explosion of awesomness XD

activities fair today. i feel bad that im ignoring all these frat houses passing out flyers. but i dont wannna join so i will continue to ignore them. haha. so went to KCCC booth bc p.james and mike said it was chill. and something amazing happened. as i was filling out my info card, one of the girls saw that my major was statistic. lol. she was also a stat major. amazingness jst exploded right then and there. we both freaked out and we clicked. not the relationship click but a more "YES WE ARE FKRN AMAZING! I LOVE STATISTICS! YES!" everyone around us kept on saying we were weird... but naive fools :P jst wait and see. we are kinda beast.

also had our official welcome event thing. for all the freshmen. there are soo many of us. i def wont be meeting everyone. i guess thats the nature of a public university. we had a motivational speaker. jst the usual speech. the whole "challenge urself. make the most out of ur college experience" i guess its the same thing that my parents have been telling me all summer. i know what im supposed to do. but actually doing it is a totally different story. for that, we will jst have to see in 4 years huh. lol.

and as for college as a whole, im really starting to see why people drift away from church during college. i am feeling the effects of all this freedom. not being in check. its really tough to keep myself spiritually accountable and i guess i dont really quite have the friends to do so. iono. im kinda desperate to find people that can really help me with this journey. im going to have to check out the christian fellowships. hopefully ill grow alot with them.

i dont really wanna be a billionaire...

lol. so second day. im pretty happy with church today. very welcoming. a nice warm environment. the pastor was taking about the pursuit of happiness and i kinda loled. a pursuit huh. sounds familiar :P well i enjoyed church, so i will jst have to see where i am led next.

today was bruinbash. i kinda made my roommates go, most likely against their will. im jst trying to spur some social spirit into them. i have to say that i had some pretty high expectations from this concert, being my first one and all. and it was travie mccoy. he is famous... right? hmm....and having come back from it, i have one word. overrated. i dont think concerts are very me. it was lame and not very musical. i did enjoy the random student dj. i guess my whole life, ive been told how "cool" and "awesome" concerts were. it was totally hyped up for me and i got really excited... but bust. too much bass.

but now i can really say that i dont like concerts. i guess thats what college is about. trying new things. jst being adventurous. so im happy i went and now i can firmly say i probably wont go to another one. i guess its jst not something i enjoy. haha. discovering little things about myself little by little. im liking this.

side thought: how do sorority girls hold up and wave their arms around for such a long time. do they not know its an asian punishment? many lols.

first impressions.

so im here. all my stuff is set up. packed away. wifi sucks. ill deal with it. but otherwise, im pretty satisfied with my first day of college. i am liking the foood. UCLA beat Houston today. my roommate likes football and he brought an xbox. woot. my other roommate doesnt talk. no surprise there. it has been a pretty chill day.

but i do realize that i need to meet ppl. for the months leading up to college, all ive been thinking about is meeting new ppl. getting to know them and jst talking with them. i know its only been a day but i wanna get out there and meet ppl. i had a few chances today but for some reason, i culdnt gather myself to really get to know them. i mean, we did the whole shake hands, "my names blah blah. whats urs?" but that isnt really getting to know people. there is a difference between meeting and getting to know people. maybe im being too ambitious to get my college dreams started. iono. i guess ill jst have to go with the flow.

and with that, ive decided to create another goal for myself. its to jst be me. i know i will eventually meet people and that i will eventually get to know them. i dont wanna force my idea of a perfect college experience into everyone elses life so im jst going to with the flow. if i am me, the right ppl for me will come and we will become great friends. i jst need to see when i meet them. whee.

so woot. its gettting late on my first day. dont wanna stay up toooo late. soooo gnight :D

the calm before the storm.

the day before i move in. i havent been doing much these past few weeks. but not im excited. ive been waiting my whole life for this moment. now it is here like a nonstop torrent that will probably overwhelm me and pwn me. who knows what there is in store for me in college. i honestly say that i am nervous. possibly terrified. blargh.

however, it is now that i am reminded of a japanese photographer. asado masashi is a brilliant photographer. man this guy is inspirational. basically his story was that he needed to complete an assignment for his photography class but he did it last minute so he used his family as the models in his shots. well he took the idea and basically built off it, making a whole album of family portraits in different lolsy situations.









his photography is amazing. its so simple but it captures so much detail. but the thing that really got me entranced was how fun it looked. how everyone was really getting into each scene and how much they each enjoyed it. and this really got me because it made me realize that the best way to produce is to enjoy what you are producing. only then will something so amazing and creative come to life.

and with this, i leave to college. my goal, to have fun. not in the partying sense but to really, like honestly enjoy and be interested in what i study bc it is only then will i realize my bigger plan and purpose. imma ride this storm :D

Pilot

ive always said that i wanted to start a blog. my excuse was that i culd never think of a legit name and everyone knows that a legit blog is in need of a legit name. lol. so i was thinking about it this summer (had lots of time) and it kinda of came to me. "An Everyday Pursuit" i guess i see life as a constant pursuit of something. whatever it may be, happiness, success, or pleasure. it all kind of boils down to living with a purpose. always have a a goal in mind. and so i am creating this blog to remind me to my daily purpose and my goals. im not going to keep it a strictly "write my goals and aspirations" journal, but i wanna have some fun and just write. so whey.

so basically, the purpose of this blog is to:
1) remind myself of my purpose and goals
2) a way to think more independently. i wanna be creative
3) just have fun. ill probably end up posting pictures, videos and links that i think worth its time. 

so yeah. there u have it. i really hope i can keep this blog alive :D

keep me in check too. im going to need it.