wishful summer

I stumbled upon this guy in Oregon and his little wonderful blog (http://woodandfaulk.com). He basically this builder/designer that documents his ongoing projects and dang... they are amazing. I want to be able to start creating things out of my bare hands. How fun would it be to wake up in the morning with that certain something in mind, and have the ability to just... make it. My very inarticulate hands have a hard time even writing my class notes legibly, yet to have them start molding and folding bits of leather into wonderful and supa hip$ta objects, dang. and so for now, I will have to watch this man and his God-given talents, and maybe one day I will have the time and guts to just do it. Funny how the grass always seems just a bit tad greener on the other side...

This bookstrap is AMAZING. 

Maybe I will start reading more so that I can use one of these guys... :P

house

amazing, but impractical... sighz

id still be down to live here though. for about a week...

ballroom dancing.

not your typical high school dance. way hotter than freaking. lol

growing up.

I want to revisit the places where I grew up. To set my imagination free and wreck havoc. How fun :D

insufficient.

i have these desires. i want to be a peacemaker. i want to bring happiness. i dont want for there to be pain. i want to be able to solve these problems.

but i fall short. and it makes me realize, there are too many "I"s. How I am not enough. how inadequate I am.

sigh.

Lord, thank you for breaking me down. 

simple joy.

I have my music. and I have my walking music. i walk down bruinwalk slightly annoyed by the fact that I chose to have work and class pack my whole day, when my song starts plays. I begin to shift my walk, taking double steps, trying to match each step to each beat until finally... I become the star of my own little music video. I smile and nod along to the melody, today aint gonna be too bad.

(pedestrian friendly)

hello blog. its been a while.

progress.

a friend told me,

"christianity is like biking up a hill. if you dont pedal, you fall down"

i miss the burn in the my thighs.

small group leader.

finally was given the opportunity to serve as a small group leader. only for a few days, but the lessons i learned were most definitely invaluable. I got junior boys, and they were the typical hard working students. Asked me about SAT scores, college apps, extracurricular activities, and it made me think back to my junior year and the struggles, how then they seemed to be of upmost importance but now in retrospect i laugh and chuckle at my naive self. i also remember that was when i started to struggle with my faith the most, started to question and doubt and fall away. what i really needed was a hyung to talk to, someone who could help me through my stuggles. thats why i chose to serve juniors, bc that was the toughest year.

I tried to teach, but i am undoubtedly lacking in theological knowledge. I wanted inspire, but my insufficiencies outweigh my strengths. I found out, all I could really do was share with my boys, what God was doing in my own life. To simply reveal my struggles and how God taught me through them. To submit before my boys as a mere older hyung and rid myself of pride. I just basically ended up sharing story after story of how God was moving. I confessed my deep sins, and in return they did as well. its so funny, how God lets me lead my boys through my weakness and submission. the paradoxical nature of Christianity.

it makes me really appreciate the small group leaders that have made a huge impact in my life, and when i look back at them, the trend of submission is so evident in all of them. So, with 2012, i will lead through submission.





oh the hard decisions... why do you have to be so troublesome...