small group leader.

finally was given the opportunity to serve as a small group leader. only for a few days, but the lessons i learned were most definitely invaluable. I got junior boys, and they were the typical hard working students. Asked me about SAT scores, college apps, extracurricular activities, and it made me think back to my junior year and the struggles, how then they seemed to be of upmost importance but now in retrospect i laugh and chuckle at my naive self. i also remember that was when i started to struggle with my faith the most, started to question and doubt and fall away. what i really needed was a hyung to talk to, someone who could help me through my stuggles. thats why i chose to serve juniors, bc that was the toughest year.

I tried to teach, but i am undoubtedly lacking in theological knowledge. I wanted inspire, but my insufficiencies outweigh my strengths. I found out, all I could really do was share with my boys, what God was doing in my own life. To simply reveal my struggles and how God taught me through them. To submit before my boys as a mere older hyung and rid myself of pride. I just basically ended up sharing story after story of how God was moving. I confessed my deep sins, and in return they did as well. its so funny, how God lets me lead my boys through my weakness and submission. the paradoxical nature of Christianity.

it makes me really appreciate the small group leaders that have made a huge impact in my life, and when i look back at them, the trend of submission is so evident in all of them. So, with 2012, i will lead through submission.





oh the hard decisions... why do you have to be so troublesome...