am i willing...?

i sat nearby pastor woogie at usc/ucla night. i saw him before and after preaching, praying hard. i could really tell that it was a hard message for him to preach. he seemed to have difficulty sharing parts of it, especially near the end. it wasnt that he lacked understanding, but rather it was the depth of it that seemed to be so burdensome. this is why i really respect pastor woogie. for being able to be so blunt and honest amidst difficult messages.

he talked about being willing to give up everything. not the simple "oh yah, i can give up anything because i love Jesus :D", but a more deep and genuine willingness to cast down oursleves and pick up our own cross. that true acknowledgment of God's grace and sacrifice. its hard to embrace the concept when generalized. so he went on, posing questions; are we willing to sacrifice our careers, disobey our parents, sacrifice our own children to follow God. i dont quite have kids yet, so i took those questions and made them as a little more personal. Am i willing to give up my wife? willing to sacrifice my friends? give up my future plans? all for Christ Jesus? to answer honestly, no. woggie gave that statistic, 80% of college ministry people leave church after graduating. and i feel like this is true because of the brutal stance of christianity. but then again, how can WE of all people call this brutal, if we are to truly and genuinely accept God's sacrifice as our only means of salvation. salvation shuld not and cannot be taken lightly. now this is not to say that if we are to believe in God, we must on the spot give up everything, but i see it as where the heart is.

its so easy to say that i want to be a good christian, but when words come to heart, it isnt quite that easy. i want to be genuine with my own faith. God has placed so many people in my life to reveal the importance of being humble and christ centered. the two come hand in hand, as neither can really exist alone. i pray that i take salvation seriously, and place God before anything else.