the humility of wheat.

I was having a talk with my mom about the importance of theological knowledge versus fruit. i was supporting fruit very adamantly so my mom told me this story. It was about a wheat farmer planting his crops, and his assistant comes and asks whether he should pick the bad seeds out. However, the wheat farmer told him not to as it was hard to pick them out. So they planted the seeds and when the harvest had passed, they went out to the field again. At this moment, the wheat farmer told his assistant to go out and pick out the bad seeds and the assistant knew where they were right away. Because you see, the bad seeds either grew up and just stood there without wheat, sticking out of the pack with nothing bringing them down or they were on the ground with no stem to support the wheat. The good seeds grew up nice and strong, and they bore wheat, causing them to bend over.

Humility does not come from not knowing how to do something. If you dont know, thats that, you dont know. rather, humility comes knowing yet not bring attention to the fact that you know. In this story, the wheat is the fruit and the stem is theological knowledge. Without both, it becomes hard to lead a strong Christian life. With only theological knowledge, we may stand out of the pack, loud and proud for everyone to see. With fruit, we produce fruit that are useless and meaningless. However when we have both, we can grow nice and strong, and have fruit that humbles us. It all comes down to humility.

Of all the people I know, I can confidently say that I know one person who has lived such a life. Grace's teacher in Japan, Tsumori Sensei. From what I know, he went to Tokyo University then was offered a job as the head of a hospital, yet took the job at the mentally handicapped institute. His reasoning, there are many qualified people who want to be the head of the hospital, but not many qualified people who want to serve with the mentally handicapped. So he worked there, helping the kids, playing with them and doing whatever they needed. I remember seeing him read the Bible everyday to an individual in a vegetated state. He never preached theology to anyone nor had huge religious debates with anyone. However, how he carried himself, how he interacted, that was how he evangelized. the others teachers who worked with him admitted that they had never read the bible, but they said that whatever was in the bible was probably how Tsumori sensei lived.

I realize this year wasn't the hottest for me. There are many things that I should have probably done instead. My focus was on producing fruit, while there was no stem to hold me up. My priorities have been in the wrong places this year, and in retrospect, I can really acknowledge that. I am repeatedly reminded by my parents that I need to study hard and do well in school in order to be witness of the gospel, however this year i attempted to produce fruit, fruit that I now realize is empty useless. What use is a student who fails his classes while all he does is serve. What non-Christian will look at him and be moved by that. No one. My mom knew this. I didnt. and she called me out on it. I pray that this summer maybe a time of realigning my priorities and pointing them in the right direction.

Thank you mom for rebuking me. I know its because you love me, so I promise that I will be the best witness I can be.

Love,
a delusional, lazy, prideful son.

[this is a long post... lol... sorry]