humble worship.

God visits me in many forms. recently it has been his grace that has been with me, constantly showing me his love and compassion. Poetry Auction was this week. my head was blown up. i started to give up my devotion time to edit more or film more. to be honest, i kinda lost God inside myself. it became about impressing, gaining attention, basically feeding my stupid blown up pride. as you know, i messed up. it was the first time i have ever sang alone in front of a crowd bigger than.... 10 ppl. i kept repeating the lyrics in my head, and i knew them forsure. Im happy God was with me thru that. being humbled like that was... man.. i have to say it was worth it.

pride is something i on a daily basis struggle with. i honestly call myself a new christian bc its been less than a year since i truthfully stepped into the journey with God. it definitely is hard. no one said it was easy tho. i have prayed for God to humble me, and i guess i can see it now. thank you God. GG - God's Grace.

so i came home this weekend for a conference at my home church. iz called WOW - Winds of Worship. it was... very interesting, and basically the theme was about genuine passionate worship. returning back to my church, i guess since i have actually started to listen to sermons and stuff, i have began to notice different things. my church is very charismatic. my mom as well. now im not here to judge, but im here to point out some differences i felt. basically, it is the "belief that Christians may be “filled with” or “baptized in” the Holy Spirit as a second experience subsequent to salvation and that it will be evidenced by manifestations of the Holy Spirit". well, at this conference, the main speaker was Randy laea. He is a speaker from hawaii and yes, he is of charismatic bg. towards the end, he called whoever wanted to feel the holy spirits presence down to the stage, and he started to pray for physical healing, about prophesies and in tongue. i didnt go up. now i have grown up with this my whole life but only now has it started to bother me. i prayed for guidance and i pulled out a piece of paper and i started to jot down what i was thinking. who is he to call down the holy spirit and speak so prophetically? i was then reminded of Pastor Woogie's message 2 weeks back about passing judgement on others. at one point, he specifically called out the charismatics and said that we needed to love them despite our theological backgrounds.

i realize that it really is about the personal relationship with God. i dont find a need to run up and start jumping up and down to worship God. it just doesnt work for me. i really prefer to stand in the back and quietly worship God, praying and singing. im shuldnt judge because ppl dont share the same worship styles as me. Genuine and passionate praise doesn't require physical jumping and yelling, but genuine spiritual passion. i know i still have my differences with the charismatic movement, but i feel God is calling me to love them no matter.